The train would stay north of the lake and hope to miss any troublesome Mormons, but there was no guarantee. Everybody had to be alert and notify somebody in authority if they sighted any riders near the train.They still had about three days before they cut off to the south, which they would do just past Soda Springs. Now was the time to make sure they had plenty of sound water barrels, because they would be traveling along the Bear River for only a few days, and that would be the last of the good-tasting water they would see for nearly a month! That night, there was a flurry of activity as the men prepared the water barrels.They were still traveling through mountains and would be for most of the rest of the trip. This meant that they would often have to trek five or more miles to make two miles of progress toward their destination. But that didn't matter, at least, they were making progress! They wouldn't fill their water barrels quite yet because they didn't want the burden of the. He can take away my sight, my power of speech, the pleasure of my genitals. He has the right, theoretically at least, to take my life.Even though he can’t see me from the other room, I try my best not to move a muscle, to meet his impossible standards of obedience that are, in fact, devised to insure that I’ll fail. It’s precisely this irrational cruelty that I find so sexually stimulating. I will be given an order. I will fail. I will be disciplined. It is, in microcosm, the old religious formula first articulated in Eden. And it is, in slightly altered form, the algebra of human life. We are born under the order to survive indefinitely. We ultimately fail through age and disease. We die. In each session, one might say that I experience, from birth to death, the drama of an entire life. It is the cruelty of life, of the tragic and doomed conditions of our life, of our planet's life, of all life, that I am eroticizing in this theater of the psyche. The universe is a cruel taskmaster..
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